I am a lucky girl. From the time I was very young my parents taught me what it meant to work hard. And they expected it of me no matter what I was doing. And I did it. I still do it. I do it because it matters to me. Because I am not satisfied with not doing my best, and therein lies the key. Working hard and doing your best doesn't mean you are the best. I find this infuriating and it is part of the reason I have a major problem with anxiety. I have to be the best at everything. It is a sickness. Over the years, but especially since college, I have been trying to bring it down a notch to being the best I can be, even if it means I am not the best. And you know what? It is exhausting.
I am 2 weeks into this education thing and it is hard. My brain is already full of things that I have to remember just to survive in adult life, so the idea of learning even more things to survive class almost put me over the edge. I told DTM I was tired of working so hard and that for ONCE I would like something to just come easy for me. Something I didn't have to work at. Something where I wouldn't have to try. He looked at me and said "Then what would be the point?" Le sigh. He is right, as always. With his simple words he reminded me that anything worth doing isn't going to be easy. He also reminded me of my favorite quote from my favorite movie of all time:
"If is wasn't hard, everyone would do it. It's the hard that makes it great."
- Jimmy Dugan, A League of Their Own
|Oh Jimmy Dugan, you're an unlikely hero!|
So sometimes when I think working hard just becomes too hard, I have to remember this. It is hard now, but it is shaping me into something great. I already know how to work hard. And when the hard work is done (if it is ever done), it will be great. It will be GREAT.
The other thing I learned from A League of Their Own is that there is no crying in baseball, but that is a philosophy for another time.
|There's no crying in baseball! There's no crying!|