Sunday, November 6, 2011

Things I Don't Understand: Running Skirt Edition

The list of things I don't understand is endless. This is no surprise to anyone. For example: Why can I only keep my kitchen floor clean for approximately 3.2 seconds after I mop it? Why, as a fairly responsible person, do I ALWAYS fail to return library books on time? And why, WHY, do teenage girls think it is ok to wear Uggs and shorty shorts? You are neither in the Arctic nor in the tropics. Did you wake up and decide your feet were freezing but your knees were hot? Do you have a pair of jeggings and some flip flops to change into in case your feet get too toasty and your knees turn blue from the cold? Anything that Britney Spears wears (or does, for that matter) is not a good life choice. Today it is Uggs and shorts. Tomorrow you could be shaving your head and beating cars with an umbrella. In your Uggs and shorts. Nothing good can come of this.

Oh....pink AND shiny!
This brings me to another thing I don't understand that has only recently been brought to light. Being that I am at the gym pretty much all the time (since I work there and all), I have had the benefit of doing "clothes shopping" while working. Some of our members have the CUTEST outfits ever. One of them gets many of her items from the Athleta company. Every time I ask her where she got her shirt/pants/capris/etc. she always says Athleta. Yesterday, she brought me her Athleta Winter 2011 catalog and I must say, I could pretty much purchase and wear anything in it. This is the first catalog I have ever seen that has put together such cute outfits that I would actually wear. Really. There are some anomalies however.

The catalog was open on our dining room table this morning while I was making a Christmas Wish List that included the entirety of its contents when DTM sat down opposite from me and looked at one of the pictures. I, too, had been examining the picture. It was of a woman doing kettlebell swings and it wasn't a baby kettlebell either. Here were my thoughts:

1. Wow! A girl doing kettlebell swings with a real weight! In a yoga apparel magazine! Cool!
2. Wait...is she wearing a skirt?

DTM verbalized this:

1. Is she swinging a kettlebell?
2. IS SHE WEARING A SKIRT!?!?!?!

This is why we belong together.

Indeed there was a fit looking model, doing kettlebell swings, wearing this:

What? Why? How? I just don't understand...
It was then that DTM started asking me questions that I couldn't answer. Such as: Why would you even need a skirt over the pants? Are they sold together or as separates? Why in the world would you wear a skirt to workout? What happens if an errant swing gets caught in the skirt? I had no answers. I can't even run in shorts without having my thunder thighs create so much friction I could start a forest fire. I can't even imagine the friction possibilities available when running in a skirt. Sure the capris would help the friction issue, but they make the skirt just an extra piece of useless fabric flapping around my waist and slowing down my already glacial pace. WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?

That being said, they are super cute and I could totally see myself wearing it around to run errands. And when I say "run" errands, I mean casually stroll around where ever it is I have to go.

One thing is for sure, though. I would NOT pair them with Uggs.

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