Saturday, August 6, 2011

I Must Protect this House

I hate shopping. Let me rephrase that: I hate shopping for myself. If you ask me to go with you to shop for you, I will do so happily, mostly because I like the illusion that I have friends. I hate shopping for myself for a variety of reasons, but mostly it involves the selection and trying on of clothing. It irritates the hell out of me. This is absolutely NOT how I look when I shop:

I wonder how much wine she has had.
But I came to the realization this week as I was washing my 683rd load of laundry that was exclusively made up of workout clothes that I need more workout clothes. The ones I have are starting to get ratty because I wash them 683 times a week. But here is the problem. I can't just wear any sort of workout clothes. It isn't because of ego or because I like to look super fly in certain brands. It is because I have tried on all sorts of clothes from Wal-Mart, Target, Nike, New Balance, Adidas, etc. They don't fit properly because apparently my Hobbit frame is just too much for them to handle. I mean, the shirts are too bulky up top and the bottoms cannot handle all this jelly (bet you just LOVED that visual). The only brand of gym clothes seems to fit properly without riding up in certain areas and making me even more cranky than I already am is Under Armor. Of course. 

I must protect this house. With quality, non-riding spandex.
So very begrudgingly and because DTM made me, I went shopping today. On a SATURDAY. When other people might be in the store. I was thinking about heading to the mall (which might have killed me) but then I remembered that hidden amongst all the construction on Route 7 here in Tysons, there was a Sports Authority. Thank goodness. Anytime I DON'T have to go the the mall on a Saturday can be listed as the best day ever. I went to Sports Authority. One of the most awesomest things about this Sports Authority is that it IS hidden by all the construction so no one wants to go there. Which means it is empty. Which means I won't have a panic attack looking for things while trying to dodge aggressive shoppers with screaming children who should be at home taking naps.

I headed straight for the Under Armor section and immediately found the tank tops a couple of girls at the gym have that I have been coveting. I also found some running shorts, sports bras, and spandex shorts that I needed. I grabbed my size of each, headed to a hidden dressing room that was always available, tried stuff on, made my selection (which included everything but those darn running shorts), checked out, and left. During this time, the following text message exchange occurred between DTM and myself:

Me: I may have just hit the mother lode.
DTM: Awesome!
Me: I may spend a little bit over what we budgeted.
Me (5 minutes later): If it is ok with you I am going to buy it all anyway because I am here and it fits.
Me (5 more minutes later): Don't even bother answering because I just checked out!
DTM (15 minutes later): Awesome!

Gosh, I love him. It literally took me longer to GET to Sports Authority than it did for me to find what I needed, try it on, and buy it. I call that winning. Also, I may be solely responsible for keeping Sports Authority in business. Here are the goods:

Total winning.
In other news, I bought myself a jump rope so I can work on double unders and the most I have strung together is 20. It is ok to applaud wildly. 

Finally, I know I have mentioned this before, but my back squat is up to 195. That is super! I can't wait to get to 205!

PROTECT THIS HOUSE!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

The Bane of My Existence

No, not him.

I do hope Christian Bale comes to save me.
In a new turn of events in my life, I have been shadowing trainers and participating in classes at CrossFit Bethesda in an effort to be a better trainer. I have come as far as I can on my own and in order to take it to the next level, I need to be around other trainers and push myself out of my comfort zone in order to be better. The guys at CrossFit Bethesda are amazing. Not only do they know their stuff, but they are willing to put up with me so I can learn to be better. I know, right? I am not quite sure they know what they got themselves into.

However, it seems whenever I am there, the workout has at least one component that I have a really, really, REALLY hard time with. For instance, one night it was handstand push ups. I am not going to lie, before that night I could not remember the last time I even attempted a handstand push up, and with my shoulder being on the fritz, I was sweating bullets. I modified the movement and got through the WOD, but I was cursing to myself that I lacked the skill. The most recent WOD included double unders. Oh good. Lieven, one of the owners, talked me through some jumps before the workout and I strung together TWO in a row. This has never happened before and I was so excited I virtually assaulted him with a hug. This is surprising on a couple of levels: 1) Yes, I am just now able to string double unders together. I know I have been doing CrossFit for 2.5 years. Go ahead and judge. 2) I don't hug people. Ever. Poor Lieven.

Now, put a ton of double unders in a WOD and the only thing I can string together is curse words. Which is exactly what happened in the workout. I was so angry and somewhat embarrassed by my lack of double under ability that I could have used a sledge hammer afterwards. I finished the WOD as prescribed, but it was ugly.

Listen, I know everyone has some skill to work on in CrossFit. I just prefer to not show all of my weaknesses at once, thanks. I just know the next time I go there are going to be some ring dips. Yay.

In fact, I just made up a WOD and decided to call it The Bane of My Existence:

21-15-9

Handstand Push Ups
Ring Dips
50 Double Unders after each "round"

If this workout or anything similar to it ever shows up on the white board, I will be crying/swearing in the corner. It might look similar to this oldie but goodie:

ARE YOU CRYING? THERE'S NO CRYING IN CROSSFIT!!!!!!

In other happier news, I finished Jackie as prescribed in 10:39

Jackie
1000m Row
50 Thrusters (45)
30 Pull Ups

I also have vowed to work on my hspu, double unders, ring dips, and shoulder mobility. I have so much work to do. There's no crying in CrossFit. THERE'S NO CRYING!