Thursday, November 10, 2011

I'm Bringin' Sexy Back

One of the major risks in doing CrossFit is thinking your hands are absolutely invincible. In most of the movements you have to use your hands, which means that you totally build up some rockin' calluses. You may not notice these calluses but you do realize your hands are getting tougher. However, you DO notice these calluses in two situations:

1) You find yourself shaking the hand of a very nice sales associate at Macy's because he provided some of the very best customer service you have ever experienced and realize that your hands are as rough as a lumberjack's. And you're a girl. 

2) You rip one off doing pull ups. 

Oddly enough, both things happened to me in the past 2 days.

The Macy's sales associate handshake was no big deal. I just realized how very rough my hands have gotten over the last few years and was proud that my hands are so used to working out that the calluses haven't ripped off in at least a year.

That is when I should have knocked on wood.

As always, pride cometh before fall. Between Tuesday's and Wednesday's workouts, I did approximately 120 Pull Ups. One callus on each hand ripped when I had only 5 Pull Ups left of Wednesday's WOD. They look something like this now:

Yes, I grip the bar too tight.

Doesn't hurt at all, why do you ask?

Because I had to teach after this happened, I stuck a band aid and some tape on each hand and went about my business. One the way home after work, I texted DTM (at about 9:30pm) and asked him to please brew me up two black tea bags so I could place them on my wounds and let the tannins work their magic.

He was nice enough to make me the tea bags. He also made me soak my hands in peroxide before the tea party happened. That jerk. He said my name calling was better than MRSA. He is probably right. That doesn't mean I liked it though.

Afterwards, he helped me wrap my hands with antibiotic, band aids, and wrap. I looked basically like this:

I couldn't move my fingers. Taking out my contacts (which I should have done earlier but didn't) was a challenge. So was brushing my teeth. No, I didn't plan very well. When I wailed "I LOOK LIKE A BURN VICTIM!!!" all DTM could say was:

"I don't know, babe. You're bringing sexy back."

It's true. I was.

No, I don't have the receipt!
In other news, I have been crushing workouts lately. Here was Wednesday's:

Power Cleans (95/65)
Pull Ups
50 Burpees

I was shocked to find out the Power Cleans felt amazing, the Pull Ups weren't bad (up until the last 5), and the Burpees were phenomenal. That's right, folks. You heard it here first. Burpees and phenomenal in the same sentence. I finished in 12:51. 

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Things I Don't Understand: Running Skirt Edition

The list of things I don't understand is endless. This is no surprise to anyone. For example: Why can I only keep my kitchen floor clean for approximately 3.2 seconds after I mop it? Why, as a fairly responsible person, do I ALWAYS fail to return library books on time? And why, WHY, do teenage girls think it is ok to wear Uggs and shorty shorts? You are neither in the Arctic nor in the tropics. Did you wake up and decide your feet were freezing but your knees were hot? Do you have a pair of jeggings and some flip flops to change into in case your feet get too toasty and your knees turn blue from the cold? Anything that Britney Spears wears (or does, for that matter) is not a good life choice. Today it is Uggs and shorts. Tomorrow you could be shaving your head and beating cars with an umbrella. In your Uggs and shorts. Nothing good can come of this. AND shiny!
This brings me to another thing I don't understand that has only recently been brought to light. Being that I am at the gym pretty much all the time (since I work there and all), I have had the benefit of doing "clothes shopping" while working. Some of our members have the CUTEST outfits ever. One of them gets many of her items from the Athleta company. Every time I ask her where she got her shirt/pants/capris/etc. she always says Athleta. Yesterday, she brought me her Athleta Winter 2011 catalog and I must say, I could pretty much purchase and wear anything in it. This is the first catalog I have ever seen that has put together such cute outfits that I would actually wear. Really. There are some anomalies however.

The catalog was open on our dining room table this morning while I was making a Christmas Wish List that included the entirety of its contents when DTM sat down opposite from me and looked at one of the pictures. I, too, had been examining the picture. It was of a woman doing kettlebell swings and it wasn't a baby kettlebell either. Here were my thoughts:

1. Wow! A girl doing kettlebell swings with a real weight! In a yoga apparel magazine! Cool!
2. she wearing a skirt?

DTM verbalized this:

1. Is she swinging a kettlebell?

This is why we belong together.

Indeed there was a fit looking model, doing kettlebell swings, wearing this:

What? Why? How? I just don't understand...
It was then that DTM started asking me questions that I couldn't answer. Such as: Why would you even need a skirt over the pants? Are they sold together or as separates? Why in the world would you wear a skirt to workout? What happens if an errant swing gets caught in the skirt? I had no answers. I can't even run in shorts without having my thunder thighs create so much friction I could start a forest fire. I can't even imagine the friction possibilities available when running in a skirt. Sure the capris would help the friction issue, but they make the skirt just an extra piece of useless fabric flapping around my waist and slowing down my already glacial pace. WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?

That being said, they are super cute and I could totally see myself wearing it around to run errands. And when I say "run" errands, I mean casually stroll around where ever it is I have to go.

One thing is for sure, though. I would NOT pair them with Uggs.