Thursday, May 17, 2012

A Load of Guff

It has been awhile, my friends, and I know it. I have an axe to grind. Speaking as a coach, we take a lot of guff from people. I understand the guff. I even say it myself:

"This is hard."

"I hate running."

"Thrusters? AGAIN?"

"Double unders make my pants fall down."

"Wall balls make me nauseous."

Oh, wait. That last one might just be me. I can take the guff. I can. It is my job. It is also my job to get you to shut the heck up and do hard work. It is hard for a reason and you showed up. So do it. I know I am doing my job and you are doing your job if you hate me just a little (or a lot) when you are working out. I look like I hate every human being on the face of the planet when I am working out. Why? Because it IS hard. And if you aren't working hard enough, I have the benefit of using "The Motivator" on you. You would be shocked at how fast that thing fixes form and attitude. What is it? A pointy-ended PVC pipe. No, we didn't sharpen it like that. It cracked one day and we just never fixed it.

This R2 unit has a bad motivator!!!
The guff I have a problem with comes from the excuse-makers. To be honest, excuse-makers don't last long, if at all. We all know one (or more), and they aren't just at the gym. They are everywhere. At work, on the Metro, at school, EVERYWHERE. However, because most of my time is spent at the gym (best job ever, by the way. For reals.), I routinely hear things like this:

"I wish I could do that, but I just don't have time in my schedule! I am so busy!" (Meanwhile, you see them check in on Facebook at Starbucks and the movies and the mall and every restaurant in the area get the idea.)

Translation: I have priorities. My well-being isn't one of them.

"I am not motivated to workout." 

Translation: I am too lazy to try.

Have you EVER been to a CrossFit gym? If it isn't motivating, you are at a terrible box. Yeah, you may walk into it and see people muttering to themselves in the corner, grunting, yelling, and/or swearing. But you know what? As soon as they catch their breath, they are cheering on those who aren't yet finished.

"I really don't care about gaining strength, so I am going to use a lighter weight." 

Translation: Heavy weights are hard and I don't like it.

Stop sandbagging and pick up a heavier weight.

"I want to get fit but I have no idea where to start."

Translation: To be honest, this might be exactly what it sounds like. But even that is an excuse to NOT get started.

Good news! We're here to help. You can start anywhere! Let's go!

Don't be an excuse maker. Your guff will not fly with me. You can tell me you hate burpees (I die a little inside every time someone says that), you hate box jumps (I am with you there), you hate running (again, yes), you hate rowing, you hate me...but get it out of your system and start moving. 3...2...1...GO!

One of my all time favorite quotes.