It is very hard to hear everything you are doing wrong all at once. A little bit of constructive criticism goes a long way but a lot of it can crush you like that big ol' weight you are trying to lift. That is what happened to me a couple of weeks ago.
My training had been slacking. I had no motivation to get to the gym and workout, which is ridiculous because I work there. I HAVE to be there. It isn't like I just don't show up and workout. In order to keep my job and get paid, I have to be there. I had no excuses to not train. I just didn't want to. I was burnt out. I was tired of my programming, tired of trying to squeeze a workout in between my other duties, tired of not getting stronger because there was no method to my madness. Just freakin' tired. DTM became worried about me when I wouldn't work out for days on end. I was frustrated because I no longer wanted to do CrossFit. (I realize this is blasphemy. Don't hate too hard.) Not that I didn't think CrossFit wasn't worth it, but it stopped being fun for me. I stopped enjoying it. That is when I knew I needed something else.
I evaluated my priorities and decided I want to get strong. Stronger than I have ever been in my life. I wanted a routine to stick to and for someone else to tell me what to do. I have not been coached in years because I myself am a coach. So I looked to the guys at Lift Big Eat Big for help. I applied to their consulting program and talked to Brandon, the head honcho of LBEB. He looked at my goals and my current lift weights and deemed me not where I should be after five years of CrossFit. While he is not at all wrong, it was difficult to hear. I spend all of my time helping other people get stronger and healthier to my own detriment. I haven't worked on lifts, especially Olympic ones, to get better at them. I lift when I can, so there isn't the progression there should be. The haphazard training is not helping me reach my goals. So I am making a change. I am doing the programming Brandon wrote for me to the best of my ability.
Week 1 ended on Sunday for me and it was hard, both physically and mentally. I lifted more and for longer last week than I ever have ever. And I loved every single second of it. I am doing things I haven't done before, like tricep push downs and bicep curls. I bench pressed for the first time in...years? I don't even know. I ran my butt off while carrying a heavy sandbag. I am eating more carbs per day than I have in years and my brain actually feels like it is working now. I am also way weaker than I should be and shutting up the sniping, mean Gollum Alison in my head is difficult (Bench press? We HATES it!). More than one workout ended in tears. I know, I know. There's no crying in CrossFit. But you know what? This is what I want to be doing. It is hard, it is fun, it is good. The good news is I can only get stronger from here.
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